This is my absolute favorite picture of Thomas. To me it just represents the innocence and wonder that this little boy has. When I look at that expression on his face it brings me joy in the purest sense. To think that I have been blessed with the responsibility of safeguarding and nourishing such a sweet and pure being humbles me.
The past week or two have probably been the hardest yet during my short stint at motherhood. For some reason, Thomas has just seemed to be having more meltdowns and is just more unpredictable. I've heard it said that as soon as the babies hit 3 months they get so much easier, I feel this is the opposite! (Not that Thomas was ever really easy....) There have been many times that I feel completely inadequate as a mother. Like I really don't know ANYTHING. It is beyond frustrating to not know what to do to sooth your baby, to now know what his needs are. It is extremely challenging. I was talking to my mom a few days ago on the phone and she quotes the saying, "A hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." I said, I think the saying should really be, " The hand inside the cradle rules the world of the hand that rocks the craddle." I don't think I have said so many tiny prayers in my head to ask for patience in my life!
But yet, I look at that little face in that picture and I feel absolutely overcome with love and joy. I would do anything for that little man. I am so lucky to have him in my life. And to think Heavenly Father has trusted me to be his mother, makes me feel like maybe I'm not completely on my own, maybe I'm not completely unqualified. I just wanted to make sure and post this while the thoughts were fresh on my mind. I am so grateful to be a mother, even though it is the most challenging thing I have ever done, I truly cannot imagine my life without my sweet sweet Thomas.
